Conversations about caregiving at work often focus on mothers, pregnancy, and maternity leave. Men and fathers also want to be present for children, care for aging parents, and share family responsibilities more fully, yet our laws and workplace cultures often fall short. 

In the United States, parents navigate caregiving against a backdrop of substantial gaps: there is no federal paid parental leave program, no universal paid sick time, and limited protection for workers whose caregiving responsibilities put them at odds with rigid workplace expectations. Fathers, especially, can face skepticism for taking time off for caregiving, obstacles to taking paternity leave, and—in many states—limited legal recourse when employers penalize them for doing so. 

A Better Balance has spent nearly two decades working to close those gaps through litigation and policy advocacy aimed at making caregiving more accessible. Like Outten & Golden, A Better Balance believes that nobody should have to choose between their family and their career. 

Elizabeth Gedmark, vice president at A Better Balance, spoke to us about the caregiving needs of men and fathers, how recent legal wins fit into the broader landscape, and why stronger family and caregiving supports remain urgently needed. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. 

Q: Where do you see the biggest gaps between what workers need to care for their families and what the law actually provides? 

There are a lot of gaps in the law. We are really proud that we’ve had dozens of victories at the state, local, and even federal level in other areas, but it is absurd that one in four women returns to work within two weeks of giving birth, and that so many fathers are unable to take even a single day off to be there when they have a newborn. 

There is a lack of protections at the federal level for caregivers specifically. We have protections for race, sex and national origin, but nothing for caregivers. So in many states, it could be perfectly legal to actually fire someone because of their caregiving responsibilities. 

Q: How do those gaps play out specifically for men and fathers? 

Research has found a motherhood penalty and a fatherhood bonus. After women became mothers, they suffered depressed wages, whereas fathers were given a boost. 

But that only applies to men who fit the old school stereotype of the perfect father—the breadwinner who is always at the office because they need to take care of their home financially. Fathers who actually take on the caregiving are punished more than mothers because they are going against those gender stereotypes. 

We hear of comments from employers like, “Why can’t your wife do this?” or “Why are you the one taking time off?” There is a severe lack of understanding for fathers who want to take caregiving seriously. 

At the same time, modern fathers are spending more time with their children, and there is more recognition that family structures are diverse. Single parenthood has become more common. There are LGBTQ families, multigenerational families, and all sorts of family makeups. There’s no such thing as a “perfect,” stereotypical nuclear family with a dedicated breadwinner and a dedicated caregiver, and it’s time for our laws to catch up.

Q: What do those reactions reveal about the gendered stereotypes people still hold about men, fathers, and caregiving? 

For some employers, it’s because they themselves were fathers who did not prioritize caregiving. They may be of an older generation, and for them, it really was not the norm to do any caregiving at all. 

Caregiving labor, which so often has been women’s work, is really invisible, so it can be hard for people to recognize its necessity. It can be very hard for them to grapple with the idea of a junior male colleague who would want to take part in the caregiving. 

I think these attitudes are deep-seated and patriarchal, and so often, there are racial justice aspects here as well, because there are different standards for men of color. 

These attitudes are rooted in bias and in laws that have not kept up with what families actually need. We know that children benefit from having engaged parents, and families are stronger economically and socially when caregiving is supported. 

Q: Employers don’t have to wait for new laws to adopt inclusive workplace practices. Why should they invest in caregiving-friendly policies now? 

First, you shouldn’t have to win the boss lottery in order to have a benefit that should be a right for everyone, so I would never say that we should only pursue corporate change.  

The reason many businesses support a lot of these laws is talent recruitment and retention. Keeping up with competing companies when so many in the corporate world are providing these benefits is a major piece of the business case.  

On retention, turnover has enormous costs for businesses. You need to be able to keep the good employees that you have. Giving them benefits increases their loyalty, productivity, and good health, which reduces health insurance costs for employers. 

And for smaller businesses that have the legal backing of something like a paid family leave program in their state, it means they can afford to give these benefits in a way that only larger businesses are able to now. 

Q: A Better Balance hears from thousands of workers each year who call into its legal helpline with questions about their rights. How do those contacts shape your policy work? 

The helpline is at the heart of our theory of change. We hear directly from workers about the problems they face, then develop policy solutions based on those experiences. 

For example, the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act came from workers who were falling through gaps in existing law. We also bring the people who call us into that work as community advocates—testifying before lawmakers, speaking to the media, and helping us push for change. They are incredibly brave, and they put a human face on the issues we’re fighting to address. 

We then monitor how laws are implemented. For example, after we passed paid family leave in New York, we heard on our helpline that employers were trying to say employees couldn’t keep their health benefits while they were on leave. That is obviously an enormous gap, and then we were able to go and push for a regulatory fix. 

Q: Is there a story or two that captures what these policy gaps mean for fathers and families in practice? 

One example involves parents with babies in the neonatal intensive care unit. Many are forced to choose between using leave while their child is hospitalized or saving it for when the baby comes home. Often, mothers stay at the hospital while fathers return to work immediately to preserve their leave. 

They will go to the hospital after work and spend time with their babies at night. Because these are high-level NICUs, they often have a long drive. Then they go home, try to get a few hours of sleep, and do it all over again the next day. It’s an all-too-common pattern that no one should have to endure. 

We’ve also seen cases like Ben in Ohio. Last year, he had a baby girl with his wife, who has a rare neurological condition that causes tumors on her spine and brain. 

Because there is no paid leave in Ohio, his only option when their baby arrived was the Family and Medical Leave Act. But they couldn’t afford to take the full 12 weeks of unpaid leave it allows, and Ben had to return to work four weeks early. 

We know that when fathers take paid leave, they are more engaged in their children’s lives long-term, and their children have better outcomes. Stories like Ben’s are incredibly common, and men like Ben deserve and need paid parental leave. 

Q: Looking ahead, what policy changes are most needed to better support fathers and other caregivers? 

We need paid leave in every state—or a federal system—so everyone can access family and medical leave, and sick time. Second, we need to defend and enforce laws like the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act, which helps employees get accommodations during pregnancy and after childbirth, and the PUMP Act, which ensures workers have the break time and private space they need to express milk and feed their babies. This helps mothers, but also entire families by supporting their economic security and health.

Third, we need to advance broader protections for people taking care of their families and loved ones, so they can better juggle their workplace and family caregiving responsibilities. There are already legal arguments under existing discrimination laws that make it illegal to treat male and female caregivers differently, but we need stronger policy solutions to close the remaining gaps.  

Q: Beyond any single law, what would you most like to see change in how workplaces think about caregiving? 

Workplaces should approach employees without stereotypes and focus on their caregiving needs. When an employee says they have an ill spouse or a seriously ill child or parent, employers should ask: what would I want if I were in their position? 

If workplaces are both legally required and genuinely willing to recognize that shared humanity, then we will be well on our way. 

If you have questions about your rights or are facing challenges at work related to caregiving, you can contact Outten & Golden, or A Better Balance’s free legal helpline for confidential guidance. You can also explore A Better Balance’s Workplace Rights Hub to learn more about your rights and options. 

By Jon Steingart, Senior Content Strategist at Outten & Golden LLP.